Let me clarify… i always think positively .. But sometimes my heart and mind doesn’t sync.. that time these thoughts come into my mind….
Yes. I am a woman. I am smart, brilliant, popular and friendly. I am very successful in my career….
In fact; I have a lot of friends who care for me a lot!!
Do I really have true friends?
I don’t know…. May be i don’t feel comfortable to share my feelings and thoughts with them….May be my ego doesn’t allow me to share my thoughts with them… i always think not to cry or cribbing in front of others as it is just waste of time for others.
Everyone likes my presence, everyone loves my company, but no one actually knows me, strange isn’t?
I try hard to laugh when people surrounding me begin to laugh aloud rather than bursting into tears behind closed doors for my emotional trauma and finally ending up suffering in silence. But why does it always happen to me?
The truth is – I really don’t know.
At home, I have sacrificed my personal happiness to play the role of an obedient daughter and an understanding sister expecting nothing in return. I don’t mean that i have sacrificed my career. Sometimes i feel that i am living as a stranger in my own family; I wish to keep myself happy by an artificial smile; All fingers pointing at me; for every decision I take.
Sometimes; I wish to run away.
As a woman, I too have dreams – dancing in rain, being surrounded by flowers and valued for my worth. I do not wish to be a puppet in society anymore and crave to control my lost strings of freedom.
With my cherished dream still remaining unfulfilled – Accepting me as I am.
It happened to me many times.
Mera dimag bhi mere saath bade khel khelta hai!!!
Hmm… It happens with everybody in some point of time in life…
I liked your thoughts and the way you express it in words. Yep me too feel that we are not being true ourself in the process of life many of the time. Though I love my parents more than anything and they are god to me, I feel our core wishes and dream get buried somewhere to be obedient to parents and some time we dont have power to be ourself……Irony is that all these happen with no sound, silently. LOL………….But yes that way life is………It has millions of other reason to cheers for………so cheers! Have a great time. I found your blog in your orkut profile and I am having thrill always to words which express some one’s inner emotions and all………!!
The problem is…It happens with me very often!!
That’s why I’m confused…always!
In Love,
In Friendship,
In Family,
I’ve lost myself yet I haven’t earn any 1 who ask me “How u doing??”
Good. you are thinking toooo much.